He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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