I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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