...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
