Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sarcasm needs its own font
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
