i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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