Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
