I've blown a few things in my day
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
