My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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