At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
