lets start a swedish sibling band together
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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