you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my sisters under your porch take her home
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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