marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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