Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
