just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize