apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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