Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
