I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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