she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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