epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
then he tried to convert me to islam
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
