yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize