i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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