Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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