Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
