if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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