About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
