This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just found puke in my bra..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
