I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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