My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
