She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
