Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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