I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
