Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
