Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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