her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
