I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
