Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
