Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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