Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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