i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
