im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you remember whose house we're in?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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