i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How drunk are you?
Completed.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
