well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
