M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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