Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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