What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
