Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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