I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
