Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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