I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
