And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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