I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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