God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
