so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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