Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
