Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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