i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
