Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
