Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
