no, he came in my armpit
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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