after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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